unwelcome laughter

Before your open heart surgery,

He tells us about all the things that could go wrong

Everything possible

A big, long list

She warned us that he would do that

But, still…at some point,

I said, I’m not following you anymore,

They, the health professionals in that small, bright, white washed room,

They heard my words…he did too,

He took a little pause…

And, then, he went right on with his list,

And they laughed…

 

In the ICU, my daughter, connected to tubes and wires

A scratchy cry

Why is she doing that?, I asked

She’s basically stoned, the rough nurse said

Something said,

Unexpected

Inappropriate

Cuckoo

Who says things like that, even???

But she said it—she really did say that

The words were out there

In the dim light

in the hush, hush intensity all around

in a split second, without thinking, I chuckle

because what she said

it was so ridiculous

3.5 months old, chest cut open

my CHD survivor,

my precious baby girl.

 

I need to fight for you,

They want to push you out the door,

But, you’re not ready,

They take off your oxygen,

Many times,

Your O2 sats drop,

Each time,

They try to convince me,

They say “it’s just her”,

Or, kids with CF can survive with O2 sats in the 70s,

They say.

No, not you, I know you can do it,

Deep in my mother gut,

I know this is not right,

I fight for you,

I say I want her in the 90s,

They laugh,

They don’t think you can do it,

But you proved them wrong.

Your O2 sats, went up to the 90s,

You just needed more time,

Your heart is now healed.

 

The Lord is with you.

He prepares a table before you,

In the presence of your enemies.

 

 

Psalm 23:5 (New King James Version)

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.

 

 

 

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